Couples deciding to divorce often need guidance around telling their children about the divorce and the changes to come. Below are some helpful guidelines for telling children about divorce.

3 Goals

1) Assuring the children of both parents’ continued love

2) Relieving the children of blame

3) Easing the impact of the life changes that will follow

To Facilitate These Goals

Together both parents tell the children (assures both parent’s involvement, same story and have each other for support)

Children need straight forward information — They don’t need details of relationship strife

Tell them at home when there is time to be with them and listen to them right after

Children are usually most concerned about how the separation or divorced will affect them

• who will move out

• where will they live, what will their day to day life look like

• what possessions might they loose

• when will changes happen (1-3 week lead time is recommended)

Be prepared for many questions

Children process and react to information differently

Age and temperament will affect their response

Adolescents are more likely to react immediately to the news of separation or divorce

Parents job is to figure out how to take good care of themselves and their kids during uncertain and or changing times

Key is calming adult self down so can be there fully for their kids

Handle anger and pain at spouse separately — not around kids